10 Things I Would Ask Tim Tebow

I get this question a lot - If you met Tim Tebow what would you say to him? The truth is, I have no idea. I pray that if I ever do meet Tim, it would be a supernatural experience and that the Holy Spirit would just speak through me resulting in the most wise, witty, (Is the Holy Spirit witty?) and memorable opening line Tim has ever heard. However, I would be willing to settle for anything that doesn't involve me standing and staring like a mute or shaking and stuttering over every word.

So if I met Tim and only had 5 minutes with him...I have no game plan, (I should probably work on that) but if I had dinner with him....like say, a whole hour to just sit and talk over a burger, well, that is a whole new ball game.  In that case, I have an abundance of questions and conversation topics.

So to answer a common question in way too many words, I present to you (in order of importance) the top 10 questions I would ask Tim Tebow over dinner.

1) Where do you keep the Heisman - did the University of Florida force you to let them put it on display somewhere in their athletic department, do you have it at your house on your mantle (and in that case can I go and see it?), or did Pam insist you leave it in Florida where she can keep it in a "safe place" alongside your baby pictures and first pair of cleats, which let's be serious, were probably Robby's then Peter's then yours?

2) Off the record, what is your relationship like with Kyle Orton? Obviously this question would have to be off the record, because when asked this question in a public setting we all know Tim. He just finds the best in people and then tells the world how great they are. But I want to know for real...do you and Kyle talk? Do you text? Do you hang out? Does Mrs. Orton insist that Kyle invite you over for dinner after practice? Do you see Kyle as a mentor or strictly competition?

3) What do you keep in your quarterback armband? Obviously I know there are plays in there, but I happen to have a quarterback armband of my own, and I know there isn't much space. You certainly can't draw out all your plays in there. So do you just have the names of the plays written down or what? If it's just the names of the plays, how can it really be that helpful?

4) How many girls have you kissed? Ok, for real, I have no reason for this question other than the fact that me and the rest of America are really curious. 

5) When you think about having your own family, what do you picture? I would bet that most people assume his answer would include something along the lines of 10 kids (5 biological, 3 adopted from The Philippines, and 2 foster kids) all of which are home schooled on their family compound by his stay-at-home, conservative, Christian wife. There is nothing wrong with that. However, I would not at all be surprised if he said he pictures a nice house in a gated community, 2 public school attending kids, and a career woman wife whose idea of cooking dinner is bringing home takeout. The truth is, just because you come from a giant family doesn't mean you want one of your own. I am one of 4 kids and although I love my brothers and had a great childhood, trust me, there is absolutely no part of me that wants 4 kids of my own. I just have a sneaky suspicion that Tim might be the same way.

6) While we're on the subject of family, tell me more about your family dynamic. How in the world did your brothers end up in Denver with you? When I moved to Colorado, my parents and my brothers were excited about visiting me, but no one was really jumping at the chance to leave sunny Florida for snowy Colorado, and it wasn't because I didn't ask if they wanted to come with me. 

7) Changing gears...Can you show me the jump pass? No really, can we find a high school football stadium and can you throw me the jump pass into the end zone? 

8) I've noticed over the years that when you are calling a play in a no-huddle, hurry-up offense, you always put your hands together as you're screaming the play to your teammates. The position you put your hands in is fairly typical for quarterbacks right before the snap, but with you it's the whole time leading up to the snap. What are you doing? Is this a part of some top secret play call technique? (How hilarious would this be if Tim didn't even know he did it until I pointed it out half way through my burger? - side note: knowing these kinds of details makes me a fan not a stalker!)

9) What does an average day (you know, one where you aren't making a guest appearance on Jimmy Kimmel or The Biggest Loser) look like for you? I don't know why, but I just can't picture Tim grocery shopping at King Soopers, loading the dishwasher or doing laundry. Also, I am kind of intrigued by people who work without sitting at a desk with a laptop and a calendar full of board room meetings.

10) Will you marry me? - Except I probably wouldn't have the guts to ask this, and I think it's totally weird...my REAL #10 would be...Now that your days in Gainesville are behind you, how often do you talk to Urban?