10 Things Someone Should Have Told Me About Zumba

Zumba seems to be all the rage right now. In fact, at my pretentious gym, there is at least one Zumba class every day and yet there are still so many people who want to go they had to adopt the "band system." Thirty minutes before each class they start giving out bands at the front desk. The first 80 something people who get a band get to go to the class. The first week of the band system the front desk people ran out of bands in the first five minutes, no joke. There was a line forming 45 minutes before the class even started. You have to get there early if you want to make a complete idiot out of yourself.

I've been on this trying new things kick so I thought I would give it a whirl. Well, I've been to a few classes now and I've realized there are a few things I wish someone would have told me BEFORE I started going. Because I am such a good friend, I will happily share my Zumba knowledge with you.

1) Don't be surprised when the minivan driving, coupon cutting, Avon selling, soccer mom standing next to you in class has some serious stripper moves.

2) Shakira's hips don't lie, but chances are your instructor's hips do. Just because her hips move like that does not mean your white-girl hips will.

3) You know what else lies? YouTube. If you go to a family gym...I mean health club, then chances are the guys in your class will be wearing shirts and will look nothing like this. In fact, the few guys in your class will either be debatably gay or clearly drug by their hot girlfriend standing next to them.

4) This is NOT a Daddy, Daughter event. You can jog together, take a cycle class together, or even try out yoga, but your Dad does not under any circumstance need to see his sweet baby girl shake her thing. I have seen this drama unfold twice. The first time the Dad had to walk out half way through watching his two, high school aged daughters booty dance for 30 minutes. No lie. He just walked right out the door. The second time I watched a girl introduce her Dad to the other girls in the class. I am not sure what he was thinking half way through, but at least he had the forethought to stand next to his daughter and not behind her. Plus, I think the daughter had the decency to tone it down a bit for dear old Dad.

5) Zumba requires a uniform. I kid you not. There is workout attire just for Zumba. However, this attire should only be worn from the house to the car and then from the car to the gym. Nowhere else. If you need to grab a few things to make dinner after class, you need to change in the locker room before you leave. Zumba clothes are cool in class, but you will rightfully be mocked if you try that look anywhere else.

6) Your instructor has flaws. My instructor is gorgeous, tall, blonde, thin, and has super fly moves. She actually reminds me a lot of Erin Andrews. If you don't know who Erin is, she is my hero. When I grow up I want to be Erin, minus the whole naked video thing a few years ago. Turn on ESPN for 10 minutes and look for a hot, tall chick that looks like this.

Anyway, like Erin, I was starting to idolize my instructor. That is, until she decided to start singing into her microphone. Turns out she can't do it all.

7) The first few episodes of shows like So You Think You Can Dance and America's Got Talent are always fun because you get to see how many people can't dance and don't have talent. Do you ever wonder where the producers, I mean interns, find those people? After one Zumba class you'll pretty much have your answer.

8) Leave your dignity in the locker room. If you feel like you look totally ridiculous in your first class, no need to try and remember that feeling because after you've been five times you'll pretty much still have it.

9) If your gym offers a Zumba Gold class, this is not a class for experts. It's a class for the elderly. That is a potentially very awkward mistake to make. However, for all you beginners out there, there is no shame in starting slow and making friends with the geriatrics.

10) When you mess up, and yes, I said "when" not "if," just laugh at yourself. That person to your left who is taking the class super seriously and insists on correcting you, looks more ridiculous than you even if you are tripping over your own feet and the feet of the person on your right. If you are laughing, at least you are working your core.

Have any of you tried Zumba? What did you think? Do you have any tips/advice/suggestions that need to be added to my list? Oh, and if any of you need a Zumba partner....well, find someone else because tip #11 would be to NEVER do Zumba with someone you know. Misery loves company, but humiliation does not.

My Unwanted House Guests

Never did I think I would rage war on an animal that is no more than two inches long...but it's on like Donkey Kong around here. We have a serious moth issue. The issue is that I hate them and they seem to be everywhere. It has to do with migration patters or something. Frankly, I don't really care. I just want them gone. I kid you not, in the mornings when I am sitting in traffic, the birds are swarming at intersections swooping around everywhere trying to catch a moth for breakfast. It's disgusting.

Do you know what's even more disgusting? Finding them throughout your house! For a while I managed to stay pretty calm about it. I would just ignore them and let them spend the night rent free until they were ready to migrate to wherever they needed to spend the summer or I would catch them and then kindly put them outside to fly around with their friends. However, after a few weeks of being nice, I hit my breaking point. I guess I was just tired of hearing the buzzing every night as I lay in bed knowing they were flying around and sleeping on the ceiling right above me.

After keeping almost every light off both inside and outside for a few days and still having just as many moths in our house, my roommate and I decided to turn to Google in hopes of finding a solution to our moth issue.

One website suggested bowls of Clorox, another suggested kerosene, another informed us this particular type of moth is immune to bug zappers because of the layer of dust on their wings. The website suggested stronger zappers with higher electrical currents.

Wonderful. So now we can douse our house with kerosene, sit in the dark, and try to hit the moths with a taser while hoping we don't catch the whole house on fire. That sounds like a promising solution.

I started to take it personally when I found one of our unwanted house guests under my pillow. That was one step too far and in a fit or rage I was determined to go to bed with every single one of those moths in my house dead.

I developed a system. I turned all the lights out in my bedroom but kept my bathroom light on. This tricked them into going into my bathroom where I quickly closed the door and trapped them. Once in a confined space, it was fairly easy to catch them and start killing them one by one. What did I do with the dead bodies? Oh, well, I put them right outside our front door as a warning to their friends.

That night I killed seven moths in my bedroom alone...SEVEN! You moths need to spread the word. You come in my house. You die.

New Cabinets in a Box

Let me start out by saying, refinishing kitchen cabinets is NOT a weekend project. Originally I seriously thought I could finish the whole kitchen in one weekend. In fact, I was so confident that I decided to take it easy and do half of the cabinets one weekend and then the second half the next weekend. Let's just say my reality check came about 7 hours into the project when I realized I wasn't even half way done with the first half of cabinets, meaning I was still less than 1/4 of the way through the whole project. Also, if you couldn't already tell by the gross time underestimation, I had no idea what I was doing. I have painted just about anything and everything, but never cabinets. This was 100 percent uncharted waters for me.

After watching a few YouTube videos on cabinet refinishing and a trip to Home Depot, I decided to take a chance and try a fairly new product by Rust-Oleum which is basically everything you need for the project in one box. For real, I totally refinished by cabinets for under $100. If you've priced new cabinets lately, you know it's a steal of a deal. The box even included an instructional DVD which is clutch for the clueless do-it-yourselfer like me.

Here are a few pictures of what my kitchen looked like on move in day. Although the cabinets were fully functional, they looked like they had not been touched since the 70's.

First step was cleaning the cabinets and dousing them with liquid de-glosser. This stuff is one strong chemical and it even ate right through my rubber gloves, but it beats the heck out of sanding.

Then was on to the white paint. There is nothing more frightening than that first stroke of paint. Once you do that, there is no going back. Although the DVD said I only needed two coats of paint, because I was going from really dark cabinets to white, I actually needed three.

This was about the time I realized this was NOT a weekend project.

Next was the stain. I wanted the cabinets to have a little bit of a distressed look. Eventually I want my kitchen to have an old Mexico vibe. I was thrilled to death once I started putting stain on the cabinets.

Finally was a bond coat to protect my hours of labor. I also bought a can of spray paint and painted the hinges and hardware. I couldn't find new hardware that I liked significantly more than the existing hardware. Plus, hardware is ridiculously expensive. Originally the cabinet handles were black with a gold accent, and once they were painted silver they looked updated, modern and just like new. New hardware for $3.

After the first half of the cabinets were finished (which took not only the weekend, but a few hours every evening after work for a solid week) I just didn't have the energy to start in on the second half.

(1 coat liquid de-glosser + 3 coats of paint + 1 coat of stain + 1 coat of bonding liquid) x 2 sides of the doors = 14 hours of work, 1/2 of the project completed, and one exhausted girl!

I ended up waiting two solid weeks before starting on the other half of the cabinets. Yes, for two solid weeks I had a kitchen with half of the cabinets finished and have that hadn't been touched. It made for a great before and after demonstration, but not the prettiest kitchen you've ever seen.

After almost 27 hours of work, my cabinets are totally, 100 percent finished. I had my doubts, but overall I am totally satisfied with it. I would recommend the Rust-Oleum product to anyone. There are so many shades and styles to choose from and I could not have been more thrilled with the results. My only warning is that it takes a LOT of time. Like most great things in life, you have to work for them.

Here is my finished product.

When Morgan Told Steve to Build an Ark

I am not a kid person. Why my church's children's minister and countless parents see me fit to spiritually guide their kids one Sunday a month is beyond me. But the bottom line is the kid's ministry needs able bodies so once a month I can suck it up, get over my fear of kids, and try and teach them something about the Bible.

Last Sunday was my week and I have to say, initially I felt like I got a pretty sweet deal. Our church is studying Hebrews 11 for the next few weeks so in the kid's ministry we were talking about Noah and his great faith. Considering our church's last series was on Hosea, I felt like the Lord was showing favor on me by giving me an easy one.

Things started out pretty great. I laid out a big piece of paper and the kids drew pictures of the things they already knew about Noah.

Then we built an ark out of newspapers, paper bags, and some other random things.

We even worked on memorizing their key verse.

Then it happened....the children's minister came downstairs to lead the "story enhancement" time. He showed the kids a clip of Evan Almighty. Again, I know nothing about kids, but even I knew this was not a good idea. How do you explain symbolism to a five year old? Please, someone tell me.

Sure enough, a few seconds into the clip sweet Campbell who is going to start kindergarten in a few months says to me, "Dani, is that what God looks like?" Before I could even answer another little boy yelled, "No Campbell, that isn't what he looks like in my Bible."

All I could think was oh crap! The kiddos are now looking to me for some sort of explanation. Hmm...where should I even start? I can't wait until the parents hear about this one. What happens when these sweet kids inevitably see Morgan Freeman in another movie and start telling their parents that he is God. Or better yet, when reruns of The Office come on TBS it's just going to be swell when they ask their dad why Noah is sitting at a desk instead of building an ark.

At this point none of the kids are paying any attention to the video. They are all waiting to hear my answer. I told sweet Campbell and the other kids that God does not look like an older black man (because if you've read The Shack you obviously know God is a black WOMAN).

When the children's minister saw my struggle he turned the video off and started to explain to the kids that this was just a movie and it was made to help us learn a lesson about who God is. I actually think it was made to create revenue, but it didn't matter because the kids seemed satisfied with the answer. Things were starting to look up, well, until the children's minster told the kids that no one knows what God looks like because if they ever saw his face they would die.

If you are in shock reading this you can imagine my face while it was happening. Thank you children's minister for that wonderful time of story enhancement. Maybe next week we can watch Indiana Jones so the kids can see someone's face melt off.

Of course now that story enhancement is over, the children's minister can skip back upstairs to join the adult service. Me? Oh, I get to try and convince the kids to sing and jump around while we worship the God who is going to kill them if they happen to see his face.

The good news is that by the time the parents came everyone seemed to have recovered. I can only imagine the stories that were told over lunch though. Oh the joys of kid's ministry...

You Just Have "The Look"

Last week I went to Estes Park, CO to spend a day with a few of my friends at a Student Life camp. Student Life has been so instrumental in my own life, but there is nothing magical about the camps themselves. Like most things in life, it's the people who made the countless experiences extraordinary.

After a 3 1/2 hour drive that was supposed to be a 2 1/2 hour drive (thanks to the 1 hour spent traveling 4 miles in Denver's rush hour traffic) I finally arrived at the YMCA at the Rockies. I did a few camps in Durango, CO in 2008, but I had never been to Estes Park. The first thing that totally caught me off guard was the wildlife. I mean shouldn't these giant animals be in cages? Never in a million years did I think I would have to tell kids to watch out for elk poop on the rec fields.

Then there was this little guy who decided to become our next door neighbor.

Truth be told, I had no intention of working at all during my 24 hour visit. I was along for the ride. I didn't need anyone to entertain me or keep me busy. I wanted to enjoy the worship services and enjoy spending time with the people I knew on the team.

I can't pinpoint an exact moment when this plan was destroyed, but all of a sudden you realize you are on a rec field chasing balls, getting accident report forms for a girl who is being rushed to the hospital, running errands, moving tables, packing up office equipment, offering pep talks, and making name tags for the next week's camp. So much for hanging out.

That being said, I never wore a staff shirt, name tag, or backpack the whole time I was there. There is no reason anyone should have thought I was on staff, and yet in 24 hours I had THREE youth ministers come up to me and ask me random questions. I know what you are thinking, obviously they thought I was a staff member by proximity. Umm...nope. I was standing totally by myself all THREE times. Two of my friends said it's because I just have "the look"....whatever that means.

The biggest reason for the visit was to spend time with my friend Jessica Dodd. She is one of my best friends in the world. We worked together in the summers of 2008 and 2009 and we are as close as can be, but at the same time, we are pretty much the odd couple. You have never met two people who are more different but who love each other so much.

She is the rec director and I worked in the office all day. In fact, when I went to visit she kept leaving me in the office forgetting I wasn't on her team and that I didn't have to finish any work before I could go play on the rec fields with her.

Dodd is all kinds of intense - on stage, on the rec field, and in normal life

When I worked camp I was all kinds of NOT intense.

My favorite line of the week was when a student staffer asked Dodd if she could leave while he explained the rec game to a group of campers because he got too nervous when she was around. I don't blame the kid. I wouldn't want to explain a rec game in front of her either. She catches everything!

Even though we are nothing alike, there is something so right about me, Dodd and camp. It's just how camp is meant to be.

Then there is this crazy girl, Robin. Robin and I technically met through Student Life, but we really became friends because we both go/went to the best university ever...but my degree says the school's real name is Texas Tech. I love Robin because no matter who is around or what the situation is, she is the queen bee. Everyone listens to Robin and she is just one of those people who can get away with saying just about anything. When I met Robin in 2008, she was a student staffer and now she is a 3rd year staff member returnee.

Have you ever met someone and you have an instant bond? It can't be explained, but it's just there. Well, that pretty much sums up me and Jordan. He was (and still is) a mission director and we met in 2009. At the time he was recently engaged and just adjusting to his new leadership role.

Now Jordan is married and him and his wife serve together on the team. It was such a joy getting to know his wife and seeing him so comfortably help to lead his team. Lauren is quite a catch, Jordan!

Most shocking transformation was Baby Barron. This kid is so sweet but his snippy comments are always perfectly timed and totally crack me up. When Barron and I worked together in 2008 he was one of the youngest team members and was a first year actor.

Now, he is engaged and graduated from being on stage to front of house, where he serves as the program director and one of the oldest members of the team.

Just having me sitting in staff devotions and running around the worship room brought back a lot of great memories for Barron and me, but this time we actually got to eat dinner together.

You see, as an actor he was pretty much the camp equivalent of Zac Efron, meaning screaming, teenage girls were literally surrounding him at all times. The whole situation was just a little too intense for this office girl. I can't handle the attention and as much as I would love to take the billionth picture of Barron and some random camper, I much more preferred my quiet meals with the other behind-the-scenes staff members. So Baby Barron, (who is not a baby anymore) it was nice to hang out with you on a non-travel day.

Speaking of travel days, next up is my travel buddy, Benjamin Cranford. He rode shotgun for me on almost every mile of our camp travels in 2008 (and there were a LOT of them). Then in 2009 I worked with his older brother.

Cranford has also made quite the transformation over the years. He went from being the extremely shy video guy to an active and constant servant member to his team. Upon my arrival at Estes Park, he even greeted me in a sweater vest and tie. My goodness.

Even though he was working at a camp in Georgia while I was at Estes Park, I feel like a post about camp just wouldn't be complete without mentioning this guy.

This was the first camp that I have ever worked at or been to (since meeting him for the second time in 2008) where he wasn't there. I honestly spent 24 hours expecting to turn around and see Jared Brown. Don't get me wrong, Bo is a fine camp director and I was so happy to spend some time with him, but not having Jared Brown running around that campus was just too weird. Buddy, you were missed.

I am so glad I took the time to go to camp. If I were to go back in time I would have spent two days instead of one. It was great to be reminded of all the wonderful things Student Life brought into my life and of the things they are continuing to do in teenagers' and other staff members' lives. I needed that reminder.

However, after 24 hours of camp there is one thing I know for sure. I could never go back. Goodness gracious. I forgot. I forgot about the constant workload, and I mean CONSTANT. I forgot about the emotional, physical and spiritual toll it takes. This is the kind of job that is one in a million, but you can't do it forever. I am so thankful for my new season of life. No lie, the following Saturday I slept for 13 hours. It took me 13 stinking hours to recover from 24 hours of camp. I may still have "the look," but I no longer have the stamina.

Thank you Blue Team 2011 for making me feel like a part of your team. It was a pleasure getting to know each of you. Now you all stay devoted...

A Circle's Round and Has No End, That's How Long I Want to be Your Friend

I am so blessed. Just a few months after I moved to Colorado Springs, one of my best friends from college, Kristine moved to Denver with her husband Blake. We are learning there are no friends like college friends. Kristine and I have some great memories and we want to make plenty more, so every few months one of us makes the hour drive and we spend the day together.

This time Kristine came to Colorado Springs to see my new house and go for a hike. We hiked the Punch Bowls. It's a hike I've wanted to do for a while. The trail is on Navigator property and as an employee, one of the perks is that I get to hike the trails any time my heart feels the urge. Non-employees have to make reservations and hope the limited spots aren't already filled. Although it is comforting to run into a person on the trail every so often, nothing ruins a great hike like loud families, ringing cell phones, or constantly tripping over fellow hikers. When it comes to trails, I am all about exclusivity.

We finally made it up to the punch bowls, but it was just a little too cold to jump in. Plus, neither of us were too keen on the idea of hiking down soaking wet. Maybe another day.

After our hike, Kristine and I went to Rudy's BBQ. Kristine and I were first introduced to Rudy's in Lubbock. We were frequent customers for post church, Sunday lunch. I was ecstatic when a Rudy's opened in Colorado Springs. There wasn't a more perfect place for us to enjoy real Texas BBQ and sweet tea on a scenic patio.

My one big complaint about the Punch Bowls is that there aren't a lot of trail markings, as in there are NO trail markings. That being said, when Kristine and I made the hike from the waterfall to the punch bowls, we kept going straight up the side of the mountain instead of veering left to follow the stream. The view was awesome, but all the loose gravel and rocks made getting down a bit tricky. After a few big falls we made it down the mountain and back onto the right trail, but three days later, my right leg still makes me look like an abused wife.

Scrapes and bruises aside, it was a perfect day with a great friend. I can't wait to see what adventures lay ahead for me and Kristine. I am so blessed to have her as a friend.