Every Dog Has His Day

In April after Tim Tebow revealed to Dieon Sanders (see Sunday's blog entry) he had no intention of renaming Bronco the dog, this is what I believe happened next:

Setting: In the car on the drive from the golf course to Bob and Pam Tebow's house (where the Heisman lives)
Tim: Did you hear what Dieon Sanders asked me today?
Robby: No, what did he say?
Tim: He asked if I was going to rename Bronco. Isn't that kind of weird? Why would he ask me that?
Robby: Well, probably because Elway promised you the starting job for 2012 and then went out and got Peyton Manning and it's a little strange for someone so excited to be a Jet to have a dog named Bronco.
Tim: (shocked) Oh my gosh! I didn't even think about that! Do you think it's weird that his name is Bronco? What should we do?


End scene.

Naturally, it would take 3 Tebow boys a grand total of 4 weeks to come up with a new name and announce to the world that Bronco is now Bronx.

So, just to prove my support for the Tebow clan, I took the liberty of compiling a list of new names for "Bronx" just in case this time next year Tim is excited to be....well, who knows what could happen.

Baltimore - Balt
Cincinatti - Bengal
Cleveland - Brown
Pittsburgh - Burg
Chicago - Bear
Detroit - Barry (after Barry Sanders)
Green Bay - Bay
Minneapolis - Bloo (short for Bloomington)
Houston - Bob (after owner Bob McNair)
Indianapolis - Blue (the name of their mascot)
Jacksonville - Banks (after EverBank Field)
Tennessee - Bud (after owner, chairman, CEO and president Bud Adams)
Atlanta - Branch (HQ for the Flacons is located in Flowery Branch, GA)
Carolina - Burg (short for Spartanburg, SC home of the Panthers summer training camp)
New Orleans - Bount (short for bounty)
Tampa Bay - Buc
Buffalo - Buff
Miami - Broward (Dolphin Stadium sits on the border of Dade and Broward County)
New England - Borough (short for Foxborough)
Dallas - Big D (for any of my non Texas readers, this is a common nick name for Dallas)
New York Giants - praise the Lord that poor dog can keep the name Bronx
Philadelphia - Beth (short for Bethlehem, PA home of the Eagles summer training camp)
Washington - Burgundy
Kansas City - Brave
Oakland Raiders - Black Hole but Black for short
San Diego - Bolt
Arizona - Buzzswa but Buzz for short
San Francisco - Bart (short for Marie P. DeBartolo, the namesake of the sports center the 49ers call home)
Seattle - Blitz
St. Louis - Busch (in honor of the Rams first stadium - Busch Memorial Stadium)

My #1

Armed with my scripted questions, I am happy to report that Bailey and Mrs. Knaub were able to get answers to a few of my questions - most importantly, my #1!

The first question that was asked was in relation to scene 3 - What happens to the house in Denver? Well, although the Tebow brothers were only renting the house, now that they no longer need it, the house is up for sale. If you are at all interested and happen to have a few million dollars cash, you can be the owner of the house formerly lived in by the former Denver Broncos quarterback.

I am happy to report, the next question asked and answered was my infamous #1 - Where do you keep the Heisman? Drumroll please...The Heisman is at his parent's house. I have asked many people this question and everyone has some idea of where it might be, but no one is ever confident in their answer. However, leave it to my mom to hit the nail on the head.

I flew to Florida to spend Christmas with my family last year and over dinner one night I posed the Heisman question to my family. I thought for sure my brothers would have some kind of insight into the mind of a guy and where 50lb of football glory may be housed. Without missing a beat my mom responded: Oh, I'm sure it's at his parent's house. If one of you had a Heisman I would not let you take that thing across the country. I don't even let the boys have their baseball trophies. I was pretty surprised. I had not even explored this theory as a possibility. But my mom was so matter of fact, like I didn't even need to bother asking a Tebow because she already knew the answer.

Well, mom, you were right.

Thankfully, the Knaub's decided to push the question a little further and find out exactly where this thing is on display - on the mantle, displayed in its own room alongside a host of other awards, on a coffee table in the living room, keeping a door propped open? To this Tim responded, "You know, I don't know where she has it."

So that's awesome, the biggest award in college football and it's at his mom's house...somewhere. It could be in the attic for all he knows.

The Knaub's were a little too embarrassed to reenact scene 2 - the question about Bronco the dog. However, when Deion Sanders posed the question, they were sure to ease drop in order to get the answer. I will give you the play-by-play of the conversation. Also, keep in mind this conversation was had on April 13. We all know if you were to ask that question today, you would get a different answer.

Dieon: Hey Tim, so are you going to rename your dog?
Tim: No, why would I rename my dog?
Dieon: Isn't your dog's name Bronco? Isn't that kind of weird to have a dog named Bronco?
Tim: (in pure innocence and a little confusion) No, Bronco is his name. You don't rename a dog. Why would I change his name?
Dieon: probably thinking (like the rest of America) - Well, you rename him because Elway screwed you and it's weird for Mr. Excited To Be A Jet to take his dog named Bronco for walks in Central Park.
Dieon actually says - Never mind. Forget it dude. 


I guess if I couldn't have Bailey ask about Bronco the dog, Dieon is a good enough backup. Plus it's nice to know Dieon and I are on the same page. I mean, it's a good question!

Also, the Knaub's wanted me to know that I shouldn't blame Tim for the book signing disaster of 2011. They said I need to blame his brother Robby. Apparently Robby spent the whole weekend pulling Tim away from conversations and making sure they made the necessary rounds to celebrities and guests. You know, I can actually respect that. All is forgiven (but not forgotten) from the book signing mishap. Just don't let it happen again boys. The Knaub ladies also loved and I mean LOVED this mysterious Angel guy who I blogged about. Go figure.

So there you have it America, (or at least my 10 readers) you may not be as excited as I am, but now you know where Tim Tebow keeps his Heisman. The only bummer is that now I need a new opening line if I ever do meet him. Suggestions?

The Script

Back in March while Elway was busy "helping Tim in the offseason" which one would think means offering advice and helping with plays and throwing motions, but in reality means pursuing Peytonosaurus, Timmy Touchdown was sending invites to his celebrity golf tournament in order to raise money for his foundation.

I know this because he extended one of these special guest invites to Bailey Knaub. Remember my grand surprise back in January thanks to the Knaub family?

Needless to say, Bailey was a little nervous for the one-on-one time with Tim. Plus, there is the fact that this golf tournament has more true celebrity participants than Dancing with the Star and Celebrity Apprentice combined.

I saw this as not only my opportunity to help Bailey, but to get answers to a few of my top 10 questions. My contribution to the event, was a script for Bailey, which my friend Natalie happily passed along to the rest of the Knaub family.

The Script

A Day in the Life of Bailey and Tim

A ‘how to’ Guide to Get the Answers to the Questions We All Have

Scene 1 – Bailey sees Tim for the first time in several months

Tim: (with smile that could melt hearts and the enthusiasms of a kid who has had way too much candy) Hey Bailey! How are you?

Bailey: Great! Thanks so much for having me! (with cunning smile and a hint of sarcasm) So, are you excited to be a Jet?

Scene 2 – the pet conversation

Bailey: So Tim, do you have any pets?

Tim: Yeah, I have a dog.

Bailey: I love dogs. (this can also be substituted for ‘I am more of a cat person’ if applicable) What is your dog’s name?

Tim: His name is Bronco.

Bailey: That is kind of awkward. Are you going to rename him Jet?

Scene 3 – I heart New York

Bailey: I’m really sad you won’t be playing in Denver this year!

Tim: (no idea what he will say here but it will no doubt be something positive and include the phrase ‘excited to be a Jet’ at least twice)

Bailey: So have you already moved to New York? What are you going to do about your house in Denver?

Scene 4 – The Heisman note: VERY IMPORTANT!

Bailey: So, can I ask you a question about football?

Tim: Sure Bailey, you can ask whatever you want. (inevitably said with a smile and a laugh)

Bailey: I know that you won the Heisman while you were at Florida and I was just curious where you keep a trophy like that. I heard it’s really big and heavy.

Tim: (I have no earthly idea what he will say but you need to remember every single word)

Bailey: So when you were in college did you keep it in your dorm room, or what?

Tim: (again, no idea what he will say but you need to remember every word and report back)

Bailey: Is it true that if you win a Heisman than you get to vote on the Heisman winner every year?

Tim: Yes, that is true. (The answer to this question is ‘yes’ but sometimes you have to ask questions you already know the answer to in order to provide a segue into other questions)

Bailey: So how does that work? Do they send you a scantron every year or something? Do you call in your vote?

Tim: (no idea what the answer will be)

Scene 5 – A day in the life

Bailey: So what does an average day look like for you when you are in the off-season?

Tim: (answers questions)

Bailey: So how is it different while you are in season?

Scene 6 – we are family

Bailey: How many kids are in your family?

Tim: There are 5 of us – I have two sisters and two brothers

Bailey: Did you like growing up in a big family?

Tim: Yes, I loved it. There was always something to do.

Bailey: Do you think you will want a big family some day?

Tim: (no clue what the answer will be, but I would guess that he does not want 5 kids)

*Side note: you and Tim are both the youngest in your families and both have siblings that are much older. If you run out of things to say, you can always default to talking about what it’s like to be the youngest. That should take up some time.

Scene 7 – the Wonderlic

Bailey: What did you shoot on that last hole?

Tim: (doesn’t really matter what he says)

Bailey: So is that number higher or lower than your Wonderlic Test score?

Tim: (I pray that he says ‘lower’ or either a)his golf game needs serious help or b)he is much dumber than we thought)

Bailey: Did you think it was a hard test?

Tim: (gosh I hope he says ‘no’)

Bailey: Did you hear about the guy who made a 4? (with a smile) Typical LSU.

Tim: (He will give a courtesy laugh because he doesn’t want to talk bad about another university, but in his head he will be rolling with laugher and LOVE you for it!)

Additional Questions in Case of Awkward Silences

• Besides football, what is your favorite sport? (I believe the answer will be baseball)
• What is your favorite movie of all time?
• Now that you’ve made a name for yourself in the NFL, what is your next big goal?
• What is your absolute favorite thing to eat?
• Is it hard to live so far away from your family?
• What did you do for Easter?
• Are you still close to your coaches and teammates from the University of Florida?
• Tell me about the process of writing your book.

To Whom It May Concern - Part 1

Dear NCAA Basketball,

I'm so sorry! I love March Madness, I really do. I love watching to see which underdog team will completely ruin everyone's brackets only to disappear back into oblivion a few months later. This year I had every intention of watching, but the Peyton Across America Tour continued long past its perspective end date and as time went on I realized that Denver, Elway, and Elway's hair were in it to win it and I was getting more stressed with every day that went by. My nerves just couldn't handle awaiting Peyton's decision and the stress of the tournament. Luckily, by Sunday afternoon I had managed to calm myself down enough to watch a few games.

However, Monday afternoon when SportsCenter should have been discussing the state of Ohio cleaning house, Kendall Marshall's fractured wrist, and my beloved Gators, Peyton announced his big decision to the world and all eyes turned back to the drama of the NFL. I'm sorry you are not getting the air time you so rightfully deserve. I'm sorry the off season of the NFL is taking every bit of attention away from the biggest moments of your actual season. On behalf of sports fans everywhere, I'm sorry.

Also, Go Gators!

Dear NFL,

This is only my second year with you and I am starting to question our relationship. In just two seasons I have seen more ego drive craziness than I have in an entire lifetime with the NCAA. I realize the NCAA is not without their problems, but compared to you, well, it's nothing.

Let me give you the breakdown of the last two years of our relationship. Once the lockout situation got resolved, I then got to see the firing of Josh McDaniels, followed by exile of Kyle Orton, then Tebow mania went into full swing. In the midst of miraculous wins, Elway spitefully withholds support of his quarterback. Then, after Tebow gets the Broncos to the second round of the playoffs to be beaten by the team that eventually went to the Super Bowl, Elway reluctantly announces Tim will be the starting QB for the 2012 season and pledges to work with him in the off season. By "working with Tim" Elway really meant courting Peyton because two months later Tim is traded to the Jets with not even an option of staying to learn under Peyton.

I realize you may be thinking this letter should be to the Broncos and not you, but the general integrity and loyalty of your other teams is equally disgraceful. Alex Smith took the 49ers to the 3rd round of the playoffs to be beaten by the team who won the Super Bowl only to have his front office rise as the dark horse and tough competitor in the Peyton sweepstakes. Then when they didn't get Peyton, they asked free agent Alex to return and expect him to do so gratefully. My word. Are you guys serious?

Not to be left out of the contest for craziest leadership, the Jets trade for sweet Timmy after they pledged their loyalty to Sanchez just two weeks prior.

All of this just upsets me. If this is what it means to be an NFL fan, then I am not sure I have it in me. How can I be loyal to a team when a team isn't loyal to its players? I just keep getting told over and over, "this is the way it is" or "it's just business." Just because something is the status quo doesn't mean it's ok and it certainly doesn't mean I have to be fine with it. NFL fans also excuse this inhumanity because the players make millions of dollars. We can all agree that you shouldn't treat someone like less of a person if they are poor, but apparently it's fine if they are rich. Please explain how that makes sense.

I really hope that once my emotions settle I can make a logical decision on if I will be continuing our relationship, but right now I am regretting all of those moments I sacrificed with my first love in order to get to know you.

Dear ESPN,

To quote my friend Megan Beam quoting the great philosopher Taylor Swift, Why you gotta be so mean? But seriously, do you remember singing Tim's praises two months ago? Because I remember that. He made believers out of all of you. You just couldn't get enough of the kid. Now here we are, back in the same place with you telling us that no one will want him, that he is no good, and he can't make it in the NFL. Just so you know, there is a way for you to objectively report on his strengths and weaknesses without being so cruel.

Furthermore, stop making crap up. Stop telling America that Broncos fans are so happy and see Elway as our hero. There are plenty of people happy about Manning, but there are just as many furious over the loss of Tim and quite frankly the entire situation. You are making my whole state look ridiculous. Just stop.

Report on the NCAA tournament. Those guys are working hard and deserve some air time. Get it together.

Dear Frank Tripucka,

Seriously?

Dear Skip Bayless,

Thank you. You deserve some kind of a medal. You have stayed true to your thoughts on Tim through everything. You like him, and you are willing to stick up for him no matter what. You may be one of the most bias reports at the Mother Ship, but praise God someone in that business understands the meaning of the word loyalty. Please continue to call out those Broncos players being ridiculous. Thank the Lord someone has the guts to do it. 

Dear Broncos Fans Who Told Me Elway Would Keep Tim No Matter Who Won the Peyton Sweepstakes,

I told you so.

Dear Eddie Royal,

Congrats on the move to a team with a QB who has a better passing game than Tim. I know you wanted that. Also, how silly do you feel right now?

Dear Brandon Lloyd,

If Eddie feels silly, I bet you feel really silly!

Where Were You When...

Where were you the day Peyton Manning told John Elway he was joining the Broncos?

I rarely get sick and usually even if I am sick, I still go into work. Monday though, I just couldn't do it. I started getting sick on Sunday afternoon and by Monday morning I just knew work was out of the question. I got up around 7am when my alarm went off, let the guys at work know I wasn't coming in, and rolled over and went back to sleep.

11am I woke up again because my night table was literally hitting the side of my bed thanks to my phone that had fallen victim to a vibration seizure. Around 11:30 I was finally conscious enough to put the facts together - my phone was blowing up, maybe I should take a look and see what was going on.

My favorite text was from Sam Bhatt. All it said was, "I bet you're getting a lot of texts right now." Funny guy.

In addition to Sam's text, I noticed the six other texts (with more coming in by the second) and a voicemail. After sifting through a few of the texts, I figured out what was going on and immediately turned on ESPN to see the live coverage of the breaking news - and I consider it breaking for a multitude of reasons.

Some people get aches and pains in their joints and know there will be a change in the weather. Me? Well, my body intuitively knows and starts to shut down when something goes wrong in the Tebow Nation.

Apparently, while I was at home trying to stay awake for more than 30 minutes at a time, the joke at work was that I "somehow knew" what the day would bring and my body turned on me, forcing me to stay at home.

Honestly, even if I was at work, I don't know how much I would have really been able to accomplish even if I was feeling 100 percent. It's hard to focus with that kind of craziness going on, especially when it could and did ultimately affect Tim. I could only watch about two hours of media coverage before I fell back into unconsciousness, which was for the best because that's the extent of the madness I could stomach anyway.

Where were you the day Peyton Manning told John Elway he was joining the Broncos? The shot was heard around the United States, but is still resounding here in Southern Colorado.

Proverbs 3

My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

Provers 3: 11-12

Sunday was my one week each month that I volunteer in the kid's ministry instead of going to the adult service - or "big church" for those fellow Southern Baptist folks. Each time I teach the kids it's an adventure. There was that one time I taught them about Joseph and the one time I taught them about Noah. This week, I got to teach them about Jonah - more specifically, the Lord's discipline as it relates to Jonah's life. It all seemed pretty easy and straightforward and the kids were really getting it. Games went over well and the kids seemed involved during the Bible study. 

Then it came time to teach the kids this week's verse. Throughout the month of February, our entire church (including the kids) are memorizing Proverbs 3:1-12. The kids are learning it two verses at a time. This week I was supposed to teach them verses 11-12. We taught the kids hand motions that correlate with the words of the verse. I had the kids repeat the whole thing after me the first few times. Then when I felt they were ready, I stayed quiet but did the motions to help jog their memories. 

motion #1

Kids: My son...

motion #2 

Kids: do not...

motion #3

Kids: despise...

motion #4

Kids: Tebow!

my reaction

my words: Oh my gosh! Are you saying that because I'm teaching you? Tebow is not in this verse!

one of my four year olds: But in the Bible?

me: No, Tebow isn't actually in the Bible.

Apparently when I did this...

my sweet kids thought of this...

and now they were substituting Tebow for the Lord's. Great. What parents is going to believe that I did not in fact teach them this? Although I realize it is probably positive reinforcement for questionable behavior, I quickly grabbed my phone to get a video of my kids and their scripture memory. I mean, can you really blame me? I have to admit, my heart welled up with pride as soon as my kids said Tebow's name.  

That night I received two texts from parents asking why their four year old wouldn't stop saying Tebow. 

Can you get kicked out of kid's ministry?

Redemption Day at Monarch Mountain

This Florida girl is quite comfortable on the water, but when it comes to the snow, not so much. Six years ago I went snowboarding for the first time and broke my arm day one of a two day ski trip. As soon as I hit the ground I knew it was broken and if you know me well, you won't be surprised when I tell you that after a few hours of rest in the lodge I was back out on the slopes that afternoon and the entire following day.

Before you look at that picture of me snowboarding with a broken arm and start thinking I'm at all tough or brave, know that I have not been back on a board since that day.

Thursday night my friend Alicia sent me a text asking if I wanted to go to Monarch with her, her husband Aaron, and a few others. I had planned on spending my Saturday sleeping in, but a day on the mountain sounded a little more exciting so I decided to tag along.

Alicia, Aaron and I debated between snowboarding and skiing for the entire 2 1/2 hour drive to the slopes. The three of us had all snowboarded once before and although I was the only one to break anything, the terrors of the vast number of falls constantly plagued our minds. It wasn't until we were standing in line for rental equipment then we finally decided to snowboard. I wanted redemption, and with new friends Mary and April already on the slopes and practically pros in our eyes, it seemed like the perfect day to try to master this thing! Plus, I knew that although I was slightly better at skiing, it was going to be a rough day no matter what. Strictly for the cool factor, I would rather spend my rough day on a snowboard then on a set of skis.

After some instruction on the bunny slope, it was time to tackle a green trail. Besides falling off the ski lift every single time, the day was going a little more smoothly than I thought. The falling was minimal and it was usually because I would get scared and chicken out. I hate letting my fear get the best of me, but I also hate the feeling of bones cracking. 

At lunch time we headed to the bar to get a good meal. As we stood there looking for a table I heard an "excuse me" from behind and turned around to see Aaron pointing toward the ground. As I looked down I saw this chubby, little boy with a gigantic cookie in his hand. I don't know what it is about kids with cookies that gives them an unspeakable confidence, but it is just so precious. Aaron and I were cracking up about it all day.

Back on the mountain I kept getting frustrated because everything felt so unnatural. Luckily I was quickly reminded that there is nothing natural about strapping a board to your body and throwing yourself down a snow covered mountain.

Honestly, when I just stopped thinking and let my body do what it wanted to do I didn't fall nearly as much, but fortunately and unfortunately for me, my new friend/personal instructor for half the day was really bent on making sure I learned good form, technique, and most importantly that I was actually doing it correctly. Apparently there is a difference between knowing how to snowboard and just getting down the mountain.

When I was 3/4 of the way down the trail I stopped to regroup and a girl who had been behind me most of the way stopped and said, "Can I ask you a random question?" I told her to go ahead and ask and then she asked the one question that has haunted me pretty much my entire life, "How old are you?" I told her I was 26 and then as she boarded away looked back to say, "You look really young." I realized then she had probably spent the entire run like I did - watching all the really young kids fly down the slopes so naturally and effortlessly and all the while feeling super impressed, jealous and a little stupid all at the same time. Fortunately for this girl she found out the truth, and once I told her I was 26 and not 7, she was no longer impressed. I went from being awesome to terrible in this girl's eyes in a matter of seconds.

Speaking of kids and their mad skills, at one point this little boy followed us all the way down the mountain with constant advice and direction. He would have been really cute, but when every word is direct toward correcting you, you kind of want to burry his cute little face in the snow.

All in all, even with the shots to the ego, it was a great day! More importantly, it was a day of redemption. I'm not searching eBay for a snowboard just yet, but I think this is a hobby I could get into - maybe 3-4 trips a year. After all, I do live in Colorado now. It may be time to hang up the water sports and trade them in for snow covered mountains.

There we are, me and Alicia in one piece and no trips to the ER!

Surpr15e!

On Friday a friend gave me the most amazing treasure. I still cannot believe I can count this as one of my possessions.

The story starts with a girl named Bailey Knaub. If you are a Broncos fan this name will sound familiar to you. Baily was invited by Tim Tebow and his foundation to attend the Broncos vs. Steelers game and spend some quality time with him before and after the game. If this story is not ringing a bell, I provided a video for your viewing pleasure. This is part of the post-game interview following the Broncos overtime playoff win against the Steelers.

Following this press conference, the media latched on to this story like white on rice. CBS wanted to do a story on Bailey and Tim's foundation so they invited the entire Knaub family to a Broncos practice complete with lunch at the facility and of course a little more hang out time with Tim. 

I guess you are starting to wonder what this has to do with me? Well, I don't know Bailey, but I do know her parents and brother. How? Well, Bailey's sister-in-law Natalie is a very good friend of mine. We work together and seeing as how we are on the very short list of females in the IT Department and are very close in age, it was a fast friendship. I've been to her house for a family BBQ (which is how I know the rest of the Knaub family). Remember this picture from a November blog post? 

Natalie and I ran the Turkey Trot together a few months ago. 

So now that we have the connection all squared away, back to the story...

Because the whole Knaub family was invited to the practice facility, Natalie and her husband Collin obviously jumped at the opportunity. I was excited for them. Not many people get opportunities like this and with all their family and Bailey have been through, they are more than deserving of this special memory. 

Although the Knaub's brainstormed every possibility of me tagging along to meet my man Tim, it just wasn't possible. Natalie did have an idea though. She told me that if it was at all possible, she would get me an autograph. The next day I brought her a football and explicitly explained that I thought the chances of the thing getting signed were a billion to one and that there was no pressure to make it happen. I wasn't going to be upset or disappointed if this didn't pan out as easily as Natalie thought it would. I also had a few questions for Natalie to pass along to Tim: #1 from my list of 10 Things I Would Ask Tim Tebow - Where does he keep the Heisman? 

Unfortunately Natalie was too embarrassed, and didn't ask Tim my #1 question so the mystery lives on - where does he keep that Heisman???

However, on an equally important note - the Knaub family had no Lindsey Vonn sightings both before, during and after the game or at practice the following week. 

Thanks for tracking with me through the bunny trails, now back to the story. The night after the Knaub's meet and greet with Tim, I talked to Natalie on the phone about her day. She asked if I had recently checked my Facebook and since I check the thing once a month at best, of course I had not logged in lately but quickly did so after I got every gory detail of the meeting. 

Natalie tagged be in this photo

The caption read, "Just for you Danielle - more Gatorade!!!"

When Natalie showed me the pictures from the first time Bailey met Tim, I went crazy when I noticed a closet full of Gatorade in the background. It was like looking into a pantry in heaven - wall to wall Gatorade! I was so thrilled Natalie and Collin took a photo just for me of an even BIGGER Gatorade closet! This made my day - until I saw the next picture...

Caption: Danielle, that's your ball he's signing!

As soon as I saw it I just started screaming! I didn't know what to do so I called my friend Megan. Only she could calm me down but at the same time allow me to be utterly beside myself for the appropriate amount of time. 

The next morning, Natalie introduced me to my football signed by my man!

My dad is really obsessed with finding the perfect case for it, but until then it's safely on my bookshelf. 

Don't worry, I'm not sleeping with it or anything crazy like that. The truth is much more pathetic - I sleep with Pupup, the stuffed animal I've slept with every nice since I was born. The last thing I need is Pupup getting jealous. :) 

And one more thing before I sign off - TODAY ELWAY NAMED TEBOW THE STARTING QB FOR THE 2012 SEASON!

Oh Tebow

Sunday afternoon I played hooky at church and drove to Denver for the Broncos vs. Patriots game. To make a long story shorts, at work we have a technology vendor with a Broncos ticket hookup. A few months ago one of our reps found out I am a fan and asked if I wanted to go to a game. One thing led to the next and I ended up with tickets to the Broncos vs. Patriots game - the 6th row! 

For months I was anticipating this day and I had no idea back then that when game day finally arrived, Tebow would be starting, the Broncos would have a winning record and a shot at the playoffs, and this game in particular would be one of the biggest games in the country. So yes, what a blessing! 

Even though the outcome of the game was...umm...not the best, I feel like I could write 10 pages about that one day. However, for your benefit, I'll just hit the highlights.

Best Moment

This whole Tebow mania thing is new to my fellow Coloradans, but it's old hat for this Florida girl. Standing in a stadium chanting "TEBOW" with 75,000 fellow fans was like coming home. I had to remind myself I was in fact at Mile High Stadium and not the Swamp. Plus, it's nice to see that no matter what is happening in the media, Broncos fans are 100% behind this guy.  

Worst Moment

They lost - no 4th quarter comeback this week. Plus, it turns out this sad face is much harder to see in person than on TV.

Plus I had to go to work on Monday and deal with those sweet IT guys asking about fumbles and sacks. Thank goodness one of the guys who works in the mailroom is on my side. He said the Broncos lost because Tim was just too distracted by my presence. How sweet.

Best and Worst Moment Combo

The great news - my dream came true late in the 4th quarter. Tim started running straight toward me. The bad news - he needed to be running the other way and at fourth-and 17 at the Patriots' 37 yard line, Tim was driven back for a sack and a loss of 28 yards. At that moment the game was over.

Best Moments Of The Game That Have Nothing To Do With The Game

1) The halftime show - Ok, so keep in mind this was a big game and at a big game you can expect a big show. What was my halftime entertainment? Monkeys, riding dogs, herding sheep. I cannot make this up. 

Toward the end of this stunning display one of the monkeys riding a dog got away from their trainer and started circling the stadium along the wall, but thanks to all of the team water bottles, oxygen machines, (welcome to Colorado) and medical tables, no one could get to them. Finally the duo raced to the middle of the field and slowed down - but just long enough for the dog to pee right there in the middle of the field. 

If this wasn't pathetic enough, someone gave the ranch hand, trainer a microphone and he started his five minute speech about following your dreams. Him and Tim both lived out their dreams on that field on Sunday. There is just one difference - Tim's dream doesn't suck. 

I need to know who is currently employed by the Broncos to book this "talent." I have some suggestions. I mean seriously, Eric Decker's country music "star" of a girlfriend was somewhere in that stadium. I'm sure she would be willing to perform a song or two if it meant she didn't have to suffer through the monkey business (pun intended).

2) The Broncos cheerleaders brought some holiday cheer in their festive Santa outfits. The little boy in front of me kept referring to them as "Santa's helpers." Classic.

3) About half way through the first quarter we noticed a few people in bright yellow windbreakers and a guy in a bike helmet walk down the stadium steps and stop a few rows in front of us. Then they ushered everyone out of that particular row. At this point I was intrigued. I glanced over to the field to see how Tim was holding up and glanced back to the bike helmet guy to find him and 3 other people carrying a 300+ pound guy up the stairs. He was completely passed out drunk - and it's before noon. Half way up the stairs they dropped him - he didn't wake up. Don't worry though, there were plenty of people taking videos on their phones so I'm sure he can relive his drunken stupor over and over again thanks to YouTube.

The Burning Question

So my friend Megan also went to this game but had seats in a different section so I did not get to see her at all. However, she did stay long enough to watch the players leave and couldn't help but notice that a few of these players left with harems of women all of which were dressed for a day at the beach instead of a December afternoon in Colorado. Now I was at the game so I know for a fact these players were on the field the whole time. This leads to my question of the week - where on earth do these girls come from? How are these players picking up women during a game?

So there you have it, my top moments of the Broncos vs. Patriots. Obviously I wanted an Angles in the Outfield experience and some 4th quarter comeback magic, but I guess the lesson to be learned is that the Broncos would rather I support them from my living room then actually in the stadium.

Believe in Denver Broncos! 

Keep Austin Weird

Planning a weekend vacation around a sporting event is very typical of the LaSelva clan. In fact, when I was growing up, if the vacation destination was not chosen for the sole purpose of a sporting event, we found one to go to when we got there. Needless to say, I've been to a lot of minor league baseball games.

This year my baby brother Josh's Birthday present was a trip to Austin, Texas to see his beloved Longhorns play in person. I have no idea how this kid picked the Longhorns but he has been a fan since he was probably seven or eight years old, long before I even thought of moving to Texas to attend the most amazing university on the face of the earth...aka: Texas Tech.

My parents decided to entice me to come along by choosing the Texas vs. Texas Tech game. I hadn't seen my parents in 11 months and I had some vacation days stored up, so taking a free trip to Austin was a pretty easy decision.

My parents and my brother flew into Austin a few hours before me so by the time I got there my dad had already traded in a sporty Mercedes rental car for a Ford SUV. He tried to be a Mercedes sports car kind of guy, but he quickly found out it's just not for him. It was probably the shortest midlife crisis in the history of the male population. He also managed to get a parking ticket in less than four hours after arriving in Austin.

Friday we took an unofficial tour of the Capitol building. My mom was impressed by the state pride.
This is one of the many door hinges in the Capitol. You know, just in case you forget where you are.

I was impressed by the architecture and attention to detail. This is the dome when you are inside of the building looking up.

My brother kept trying to look for the Occupy protestors. And my dad complained the whole time about how much it cost to build such an elaborate building and about the amount of tax payers' dollars spent on furnishing the over priced building. According to him politics should be cheap. According to me, political buildings should not look like an IKEA showroom.

Seriously, one of my top three dream jobs is to hold an office at the Capitol and call one of these fancy chairs mine.

Next it was off to lunch. The only thing more important than sporting events on a LaSelva family vacation is good food. We have a gift for finding and consuming the best food in any city we visit.

Next on Friday's agenda was a University of Texas campus tour. For me, it was like walking straight through the enemy's camp. I don't know why anyone would ever choose that place over Texas Tech. UT's campus sits right in the middle of the city and there is traffic and one way streets everywhere. Everything is dirty and loud and just feels old, except for the new building for the Longhorn Network. You better believe they showed that thing off on the campus tour. Talk about controversial. Just as an FYI straight from the lips of the campus tour guide, you can't even get the new network on campus. No one has showed any interest in carrying it. Ha! Serves them right. 

For me, my favorite part of the tour was getting to hear my parents' constant flow of reasons they liked Texas Tech and Lubbock so much better than UT and Austin. It just warmed my soul. Josh liked the campus, but repeatedly said, "Where are all the hot girls? There were so many hot girls at Texas Tech." Forget the education, these are the priorities of a 15 year old boy - hot girls and a good football team. 

Saturday was the big game. The stadium was pretty impressive and Texas' offense wasn't too shabby that day either. However, I think my whole family, including Josh, was a little disappointed in the fans. Who thought 100,000 people could be so quiet? There was little cheering or screaming at any point in the game.

My dad expected it to be like a Gator game because the schools are comparable in size and notoriety. Poor Dad got a rude awakening when he realized the SEC and the Big 12 are two totally different worlds. Nothing can compare to the fan fair of an SEC game, especially at the Swamp.




I managed to find a little taste of Lubbock while in Austin - our marching bands' bus.

The Goin' Band from Raider Land!

Saturday night we went to a hole in the wall for BBQ and then walked around all the crazy stores. Austin really is a weird place. It's like the Boulder of Colorado or the Key West of Florida. I was excited to see my family and my team, but I was really disappointed in Austin as a whole. I think it was because Austin is nothing like the rest of Texas. There are no huge, gas guzzling trucks, big bleach blonde hair, holes in the ozone thanks to all the hairspray, hats and boots on every corner, beef for breakfast, lunch and dinner, or sweet Texas accents made complete with words like "mam," "y'all," or "howdy." No one opened doors for me or started up friendly conversations. Basically, I was excited to go to Texas and I ended up in some crazy, over priced, liberal town full of people who look homeless. Austin, you stay weird...and I'll stay in Colorado.

All in all, the best parts of Austin were the things that weren't from there - like the Texas Tech football team, my family, and my friend Lisa (in no particular order). 

It just so happened my friend Lisa and her husband Griffin were in Austin for a weekend getaway. We couldn't not have planned it better if we tried. We found out we would both be in Austin quite literally when I was in the terminal of the Colorado Springs airport about to board my flight (and minutes before I spilled hot coffee all over myself). Plus, I was stranded in Austin alone for most of Sunday because my family had a much earlier flight. That meant one thing...quality time with two wonderful friends before I headed back to Colorado. 

Fall Favorites

Last Sunday was a pretty big day. First of all, Tebow started! Unfortunately, he started at 11:00, the same time church starts. Fortunately, I live in 2011 and we have DVR, and my new friends Alicia and Aaron came over after church to watch the game with me. 

Aaron played on the mighty Phat Bhatts with me and I am starting to get to know his wife Alicia. They are great. I feel a long term friendship coming on with these two. 

If you're my friend I feel like I don't have to tell you that after three of the most boring quarters of football I have ever seen in my life, and I truly mean that, Tebow had what my friend Megan refers to as his Matt Saracen moment. 

I mean seriously, look at Saracen's face. Add some stubble and change the jersey and I would think I was looking at Tebow last weekend. The whole fourth quarter and into overtime it was like watching season 1 of Friday Night Lights. The lovable, QB2 becomes QB1 in a matter of seconds. It's rough for a while, but then Tim, just like Matt, remembers he CAN in fact play football and the game starts to turn around. Welcome to the fourth quarter of the Broncos' game my friends. 

Do I even need to tell you what happened? Well, just because watching the highlight reel still gets me fired up, I will go ahead and tell you anyway. 

After my heart rate slowed to a reasonable pace, it was time to carve pumpkins. For the first time ever I tried out one of those pattern books. Next year I'm stepping up my game. The patterns were pretty lame. Alicia was so proud of Tim she had to carve a pumpkin in celebration of the win. Aaron, well, he was there to take our picture afterward.

I Need Your Support

WARNING: This letter is entirely a joke. Please read it in the spirit in which it was written and do not take this seriously. This letter is purely for the amusement of the five people (including my own mother) who happen to read my blog.

Dear friends and family,
I am writing you because I have a great mission ahead that I want you to prayerfully consider being a part of. I am currently raising support for my latest endeavor - serving as a missionary for organized sports, specifically NCAA football and the NFL. I realize you may think this is a mission that does not need your time, energy and support, like raising money to fight the common cold, but I assure you, we are in desperate times.

I have positioned myself among the most un-reached people group; the least likely to ever become football fans of any kind. I work every day in the IT Department. Just this week I was told, "I bet you are excited Kevin was named the starting quarterback for the Broncos." Are the names "Kevin" and "Tim" easily confused? I don't think so. Someone else told me he felt bad for Brett Farve because Tim Tebow took his starting position. Sorry sweet friend, I think you meant Kyle Orton. Then there was the most shocking conversation of all. One of my coworkers said he had a lot of respect for the owner of the Denver Broncos for reasons outlined in an online article he read earlier that morning. His reasons did not make much sense because I believe he had the roles of the owner and the coach confused, but when we informed him of the name of the owner - John Elway - his response was, "The guy who owns the car dealerships?"

These conversations are happening, on a daily basis, and I know people even among the most resistant people groups, are open to hearing the message of football. They are hungry for knowledge; like this week when I spent almost two days trying to explain why football teams do not and should not go for a 2 point conversion after every touchdown.

The last few months of living among the lost have been an eye opening experience for me. I thought everyone was just like me. Doesn't every family plan vacations around football schedules and raise their kids to be a fan of their alma mater? The answer is NO! There are people out there who desperately need our help. There are children right now all over the United States living in households void of team jerseys and without any knowledge of mascots or fight songs. They will never hear the roar of a crowd on a fall afternoon or experience the emotion of a last minute touchdown.

My hope is that one day everyone can say they have watched at least one football game in its entirety. You can help make this a reality. I have learned to stay the course and to fight even among those who would rather talk about servers or computer configurations than a game winning field goal. We must not be discouraged but let our passion for the game speak volumes to those we come in contact with.

If these stories have moved you, I urge you to not only prayerfully support my ministry, but to start one right where you are. There are lost people all around you who may never experience the happiness and joy that football can bring unless you intervene in their lives. You do not have to work in the IT Department. The fields are ripe with harvest right where you are. Your local theater, seminary, video game store, library or nail salon are all great places to start. We are also working with a team to develop curriculum to help you better share your message.  

I urge each of you to consider the difference football has made in your own life. Thank you in advance for your support.

Your humble and grateful sister,
Danielle

The Commercial That Still Hasn't Made Me Famous

In honor of my favorite season...football season, and the fact that Tim Tebow was named QB1 for the Denver Broncos, I wanted to pay tribute to one of my favorite commercials of all time, Under Armour is Football.

Did you see me? I'm in the commercial! Replay the last few seconds. Do you see everyone rushing the field? Well, I'm there...somewhere on the field. 

That infamous scene in college football was the night Texas Tech beat #1 ranked University of Texas and in a few seconds robbed them of a trip to the National Championship. I still can't believe I was THERE when it happened! It's such a bummer this night will probably trump my wedding as the best night of my life. Sorry future husband. 

Me and my friend Suzanne right before we rushed the field

Phat Bhatts

This year Tyler, the worship pastor at our church, decided we needed a softball team. So basically he signed us up for the "Leisure League" at Cottonwood Park with the hopes enough people would agree to this crazy idea. I think when it was all said and done our team roster had around 18 people on it. Let me tell you, the resumes of some of the people on our team were pretty impressive. We had everything from active military guys, to people who had run marathons, half marathons, triathlons, and completed iron man competitions.

With that much athleticism and determination on a giant roster, you would think the season was ours for the taking...but let's just say the Bad News Bears had nothing on the Phat Bhatts. Side note: props to Tyler on the team name! The head pastor of our church is Sam Bhatt....thus, we are the Phat Bhatts. Clever. We did consider the name team name Vanguard Church (the name of another church in town) just in case some of our pastors got a little too competitive.

We finished the season 0-8 or as Tyler likes to say, almost-7. Our last game actually ended up being pretty close. I think we only lost by 3. The other games the closest we got was a 7 point loss...no kidding.

What we lacked in wins, we made up for in great memories though. I mean there was this one time an umpire straight up asked me if this was the first time we had ever played in a league before. When I asked him if it was "that obvious" his answer was dead silence. He said he would rather ask then just assume. I asked him to not ask any of my teammates these same questions.

Another umpire was shocked to learn we were a church team because we were so fun. Not sure what that means, but he was so intrigued by us. He said we weren't very good, but we sure do make for a fun hour of softball.

Then there was the time Greg, the smallest guy on our team, broke a metal bat in half. He swung, the ball flew to right field, he threw the lower part of the bat on the ground to run to first, and the top half of the bat flew right over the second baseman. In one night Greg might have become a softball legend. Aaron, one of the biggest guys on our team, was quick to tell me he used that bat all season and he had been hitting pretty low so he probably cracked it and then Greg just finished it off. Aren't guys amusing? I'm sure that's what it was Aaron. After that impressive performance, I thought that might be the end of short jokes for Greg, but no such luck.

I slid into second once this season and boy did I feel it for the rest of the week. But let's focus on important things...I was safe. Also, after I made it home a few batters later and went into the dugout, I saw the three Fernihough boys sliding around in the clay. They said they were "sliding like Dani." Seriously, so adorable.

I played infield positions most of the season - 3rd base, 2nd base, 1st base, a half inning of a pitching disaster....then eventually I made my way to catcher. I played softball for 7 years when I was younger and I never once played catcher. I don't know the first thing about it. Here is what I know now though.
1) I am terrified pretty much the entire time I am behind the plate.
2) I warmed up to it because you get to actually participate every play, which is fun and always keeps me on my toes.
3) I make all kinds of friends playing catcher. By the end of the game I know something about every player on the other team and have had a pretty decent conversation with the umpire.
4) No one cared to mention this...but about half way through our last game I noticed something. None of the girls on other teams who played catcher actually PLAYED. Sure, when the pitcher threw the ball they caught it and threw it back, but they didn't even stand near the batter's box. In fact, they would stand behind the umpire near the fence of the backstop and wait until the pitch rolled over to them and then toss it back. If there was a play at the plate, they would just move out of the way and let the pitcher or first baseman cover the plate. What is that all about? How did I miss that memo? Here I am crouched down behind the batter trying to give our catcher a good target and hoping to not get knocked unconscious by an out of control swing. I even went for foul balls and caught a few. I think in the 3 or 4 games I played catcher I made 3 outs behind the plate. Not too shabby if I do say so myself, but for real, some one could have told me that catchers are just there for looks.

All in all, I think this was good for us. There were plenty of laughs and just to go to a church that puts themselves in a city league instead of a church league is a blessing.

Watch it 2012 season...we see you and the Phat Bhatts are coming back with a vengeance....and by "vengeance" I mean we are determined to win at least one game.

Go team!