Joseph and My Little Tough Mudders

A little background before I start my story. Last weekend a few of the guys at church decided to race in an event called the Tough Mudder. This thing is ridiculous. It was a 10 mile race up a ski slope that included 23 obstacles, which consisted of carrying logs up the slope, crawling through pipes in freezing water, scaling walls, and running through a field of live wire with 10,000 volt shocks, just to name a few. The boys think I will be joining them next year, but we'll have to see about that. Check out my friend Kacy's blog to see pictures of our guy's competing.

Fast forward one week and it's my Sunday to teach the kiddos at church. The lesson was on Joseph and how he had to "hang tough" and have faith through quite a few really difficult situations. The children's minister asked Matt, one of the guys who raced in the Tough Mudder, to talk to the kids about his experience and how he and the rest of the guys had to "hang tough." Matt showed the kids pictures and told them all kinds of stories. Then he setup obstacles around the room for the kids to participate in their own Tough Mudder. They were so pumped! Ever wonder what your kids do in Sunday School...well, here it is folks.

My little Tough Mudders with their team bandannas on, ready to start the race. For those of you who are wondering why I put bandannas on them, I say, why NOT put bandannas on them? AJ is in the blue hat. His only concern was if he would have to run through live wire. We told him no, and he actually seemed disappointed.

First obstacle, climbing under chairs. It wasn't but 30 seconds after I took this picture that two of my girls looked at the obstacle then looked me dead in the eye and without saying a word just shook their heads no. We had to make some modifications in order to get them to crawl under the chair, meaning I had to pick it up so they could walk under it.

Second obstacle, everyone on your team has to touch Matt's hand.

Last obstacle, racing across the room with boxes. The girls were much better at teamwork but the boys were better at the competition aspect.

My little Tough Mudders

The Tough Mudder was a hard act to follow, but with the kids at least a little worn down it was easier to get them to pay attention to the lesson. I was asked to cover the whole story of Joseph. Yeah, 14 chapters in 20 minutes. No big deal. Basically the kids got the CliffsNotes version...Joseph was the favorite son, brothers wanted to kill him, thrown into a well, sold into slavery, worked for Potiphar, Potiphar's wife told a lie about Joseph, lie put him in prison, interpreted dreams, interpreted Pharaoh's dream, second in command of Egypt, feast and famine, starving brothers came to Egypt, family drama, Joseph saves his family, Joseph is a tough mudder. I was actually making great time when one sweet little girl stopped me.

Sweet Girl: Dani, what was the lie?

Me: What lie?

Sweet Girl: You said the guy's wife told a lie about Joseph and the lie put him in prison. What was the lie?

Me: Oh, Potiphar's wife. Umm... She said he did something that he didn't do.

Sweet Girl: What did she say he did?

Me: Umm...(turning bright red)....umm....she said he did something really bad.

Sweet Girl: Well what was is?

Me: She just lied about him.

Is six too young for the sex talk? I think so. Seriously, how do you answer that question for a six year old? Someone tell me. I sure hope these kids torture the other teachers like this. Eventually the sweet girl gave up and I was able to move on, but by the next day I made several mental notes of some pretty great responses just in case this comes up again.

Option #1: It's bad to lie. It gets people in trouble. Just don't lie, about anything.
Option #2: Boys, the takeaway lesson here is to not marry a crazy woman. Repeat after me, "Don't marry someone who is crazy." Girls, don't be crazy.
Option #3: Josiah, remember last summer when you kept asking your mom why you couldn't walk around alone at the park which led to her explaining what a child molester is? Ok, well, Potiphar's wife lied about something kind of like that so kids, if you really want to know, have 6 year old Josiah explain it to you after class.
Option #4: Who wants a snack?
Option #5: You know, you should ask your teacher next week about that. I bet he/she would LOVE to answer your question!

So there you go parents, ever wonder what your kids do in Sunday School? Well, we dress them like gangsters, make them run around like crazy people, and then teach them about sex. And you thought your biggest concern was not having their name tag...