10 Things Someone Should Have Told Me About Zumba

Zumba seems to be all the rage right now. In fact, at my pretentious gym, there is at least one Zumba class every day and yet there are still so many people who want to go they had to adopt the "band system." Thirty minutes before each class they start giving out bands at the front desk. The first 80 something people who get a band get to go to the class. The first week of the band system the front desk people ran out of bands in the first five minutes, no joke. There was a line forming 45 minutes before the class even started. You have to get there early if you want to make a complete idiot out of yourself.

I've been on this trying new things kick so I thought I would give it a whirl. Well, I've been to a few classes now and I've realized there are a few things I wish someone would have told me BEFORE I started going. Because I am such a good friend, I will happily share my Zumba knowledge with you.

1) Don't be surprised when the minivan driving, coupon cutting, Avon selling, soccer mom standing next to you in class has some serious stripper moves.

2) Shakira's hips don't lie, but chances are your instructor's hips do. Just because her hips move like that does not mean your white-girl hips will.

3) You know what else lies? YouTube. If you go to a family gym...I mean health club, then chances are the guys in your class will be wearing shirts and will look nothing like this. In fact, the few guys in your class will either be debatably gay or clearly drug by their hot girlfriend standing next to them.

4) This is NOT a Daddy, Daughter event. You can jog together, take a cycle class together, or even try out yoga, but your Dad does not under any circumstance need to see his sweet baby girl shake her thing. I have seen this drama unfold twice. The first time the Dad had to walk out half way through watching his two, high school aged daughters booty dance for 30 minutes. No lie. He just walked right out the door. The second time I watched a girl introduce her Dad to the other girls in the class. I am not sure what he was thinking half way through, but at least he had the forethought to stand next to his daughter and not behind her. Plus, I think the daughter had the decency to tone it down a bit for dear old Dad.

5) Zumba requires a uniform. I kid you not. There is workout attire just for Zumba. However, this attire should only be worn from the house to the car and then from the car to the gym. Nowhere else. If you need to grab a few things to make dinner after class, you need to change in the locker room before you leave. Zumba clothes are cool in class, but you will rightfully be mocked if you try that look anywhere else.

6) Your instructor has flaws. My instructor is gorgeous, tall, blonde, thin, and has super fly moves. She actually reminds me a lot of Erin Andrews. If you don't know who Erin is, she is my hero. When I grow up I want to be Erin, minus the whole naked video thing a few years ago. Turn on ESPN for 10 minutes and look for a hot, tall chick that looks like this.

Anyway, like Erin, I was starting to idolize my instructor. That is, until she decided to start singing into her microphone. Turns out she can't do it all.

7) The first few episodes of shows like So You Think You Can Dance and America's Got Talent are always fun because you get to see how many people can't dance and don't have talent. Do you ever wonder where the producers, I mean interns, find those people? After one Zumba class you'll pretty much have your answer.

8) Leave your dignity in the locker room. If you feel like you look totally ridiculous in your first class, no need to try and remember that feeling because after you've been five times you'll pretty much still have it.

9) If your gym offers a Zumba Gold class, this is not a class for experts. It's a class for the elderly. That is a potentially very awkward mistake to make. However, for all you beginners out there, there is no shame in starting slow and making friends with the geriatrics.

10) When you mess up, and yes, I said "when" not "if," just laugh at yourself. That person to your left who is taking the class super seriously and insists on correcting you, looks more ridiculous than you even if you are tripping over your own feet and the feet of the person on your right. If you are laughing, at least you are working your core.

Have any of you tried Zumba? What did you think? Do you have any tips/advice/suggestions that need to be added to my list? Oh, and if any of you need a Zumba partner....well, find someone else because tip #11 would be to NEVER do Zumba with someone you know. Misery loves company, but humiliation does not.